Hercules in New York

The Popular Feature Films section on Hulu is a totally unique display of what you get when you take a library of films that happen to be easy to get the rights to, and rank them based on their popularity amongst an audience with a high volume of teenagers.  The majority of the films that you’ll find there can be grouped into one of these 5 categories:

1. Daddy Doesn’t Block Hulu: Movies that are basically borderline softcore porn.  I’m guessing they’re popular with teens behind parental webfilters, and those that feel guilty enough about looking at actual porn to be willing to sit through 90 minutes of bad movie just to get to Bonerville, USA.
2. Hulu is the New SparkNotes: Movie adaptations of books high schoolers are required to read.  Even if the film leaves out a fourth of the plot of the original novel, you can still get at least a C on the test.
3. It’s Funny Because it’s a Movie About an Enjoyable Thing That’s Taboo: Marijuana-themed films.  Because people who like stoner movies often like free movies even more.
4. I Like Him Sarcastically Because the Internet Tells Me I Should: The occasional Chuck Norris flick.
5. Amazingly Awful: The defining movie in this category is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first film, Hercules in New York.  It’s awfulmazing and should be a required viewing for every 100-level sound class at every film school around the world.  Watch it.