I like to think when Barack Obama is having a bad day, he just looks in the mirror and all his worries are washed away as he whispers, “Goddamn, I’m sexy.”

Well I, my friends, don’t own a mirror, and even if that lie wasn’t true, I don’t have a ridiculously charming smile or a set of oversized ears that function as handles to cling to during intercourse. So this is my mirror.  It’s the first page of my iPhone.  Goddamn, it’s sexy.